Not perfect- just unique

Dear Chia,

There are many kinds of people in the world and all of them have a pulse their own; every single person is unique and special even when they are not like you. We tend to judge people by our perceptions of ourselves- people are mostly not good enough. Is that really the case ? Who sets these measures? And what if everyone was just alike ? Imagine what a dreary place the world would have been!

Just because someone is dissimilar doesn't make them imperfect or bad. It's the perfect that is unreal and untrustworthy. Real world like real people is full of bumps and nicks, each one adding more to character, telling stories of a life well lived. Never judge people, instead marvel at them. Express wonder and surprise but don't ever criticise. Enjoy lightheartedness just as you enjoy dreary intellectual discourses. Don't typecast even your own self. Remain fluid, change, move with time and tide, experiment with moods, emotions and personas. It's intriguing and fulfilling.

I once knew a colleague who would have the whole room laughing the second she entered it. Almost all of the time that I knew her, I looked at her with great derision constantly ridiculing her as a lesser intellect being. It was only later that I appreciated the full measure of the amazing impact she had on people. Years after both of us had left our respective jobs, people remembered her easy laugh and not my multifarious business contributions :).

Accept people for who they are. After all , there is only one of them.
Like you .... Are one of a kind.

Love
Mummy 

Anger

Darling Chia,

Its difficult to talk  to you about anger, for no one probably gets as angry as I do :) Nonetheless, its important to talk about it. Anger my love, is basically the frustration people feel when they don't have their own way, righteous or otherwise. One cannot really have their own way all the time, because life is composed of multitude of interactions with many people, most of whom are located beyond our locus of control. Since we cannot control or exactly affect them or what they think or do, we cannot consequently control how they make us feel. There is hence oftentimes a loss of emotional control that one may experience. 

But are we really that helpless? Is there something that we can control?

The answer is that the one variable that can be controlled is self own reaction. It is the power of choosing one's reaction and exercising the power of choice in the millisecond between stimulus and response. Now that's powerful. Its potent because it  not only allows one to choose reaction, but renders others powerless - they no longer can play with your emotions or emotionally blackmail you or play the games that people usually do. And while you exercise the power of choice, ask and find out what is leading to that anger directed at you. Rectify where change is needed and where you can change; and forgive where you can't.

And when you get angry, remember to breathe.
Breathe deep and long, keep quiet and take a long walk. No force is as powerful and destructive as anger. It destroys people and relationships, but most of all it destroys the angry people. Get angry by all means, but harness the tremendous energy of anger in something useful- create, walk exercise... find your own outlet.

There is more to the wonderful you that meets the eye. You will always be my beloved chia; even when I get angry :)

Love
Mummy 

Talk carefully...

Chiu baby,

We get understood and misunderstood the moment we open our mouth :)
The power of words and what others make of our words is truly amazing. That is why it is so important to consider what the receiver of your communication is going to perceive your communication as. What this means is if you want to tell me that you need a two minute break, saying that you are tired of studying doesn't help. It makes me angry because well you never want to study:) Life would be simpler if you just said - mom, I need a short break. (It really is this simple!)

Likewise in writing. Keep your audience in mind and then write. Read what you have written, edit and rewrite till you know that it can't be misinterpreted in any way.

Remember, that words are the expressions of our soul. Use them carefully, use them wisely, use them to create joy and lessen pain and most important of all use them sparingly. In moments of doubt, anger or frustration, keep quiet. It will save you more trouble than you can possibly imagine.

Talk a lot to this one person - yourself. There is no power greater than that of reflection, of thinking, assimilating and then creating anew. Discover the old (through reading, insightful conversations )and create anew.

And always my love, talk to me; even when  I don't seemingly understand. I love you more everyday in every way .

Mummy 

Friends

Chia,

You are at such a wondrous time and age!
I know this has been a tough one and one that hurts. We changed cities at a time when you were just settling in with friends and I know that you have felt lost ever since.

I know that it is tough and often heartbreaking, but the thing about friendship is that it takes time. Give yourself time and also give time to people who judge you today, watch you with suspicion, because you are but the newcomer. They feel threatened, they feel lost too. Give them space, allow them to discover you just as you discover them.

And then when you do, choose your friends carefully. Have all kinds of friends, close ones, funny ones, the dominating ones, the timid ones, the gifted ones and even the shy and silent ones. But have honest friends, friends who like you for who you are and not for what you have. Just this, use this as your scale and you will not often go wrong.

In times that you feel lonely, friendless or lost, look back at us. We remain your forever loving friends and you will always have a smile and a warm hug to come back home to.

Mummy

Be kind

Be kind my little one.

To those who have and more to those who do not.
Don't pity people, but empathise to understand where people are coming from. Educate yourself on circumstances and situations that people are passing through and don't judge them. Instead be kind.

Always have a smile for the weary and a warm hug for the sad. Use charity with caution and extend help when it is really needed and truly deserved. Most of all keep an open mind and a giving heart.

Stay blessed
Mummy

Happiness and choosing it

Chia my love,

Remember the fights we have almost everyday? With both of us pulling in opposing directions, you wanting to ponder, play or while away and me trying to load you with the burden of living??

Thus is life.

Life is a buffet while you are young, hale, hearty and beautiful as you are my dear. But choose with caution. Remember that the choices that you make will remain and that if you eat too much dessert you will not only be hungry again soon, but will also be unwell. So eat a bit of everything, do everything that your heart wants and also the things that you don't really want. Most of all, remember to learn everyday with everything.

Sometimes, you have to let the little happiness go to make space for greater joy to walk in. It's like not buying a small chocolate today and saving up for the big craft set you've been pining for :). Weigh the odds my love, and most of all look forward, weigh consequences, choose for happiness that will last you.

Mummy.

Being yours

Aishwaryaa Chia Jain

My Chia,

It is yet profound for me everyday that you chose me to be born to, to be your mother. As I stumble, walk along, sometimes fall, on this path of parenthood, I want us both to cherish this lifetime and its immense opportunity for togetherness. You are a pristine flower that I hold within the cup of my heart and may you always have the largesse to view your mothers love, her deeds, actions and sometimes inaction with charity; for my task of parenting you is nothing short of momentous because you are but a wonder to behold.

God bless you my daughter.
I will always love you

Mom